Artist’s Statement

Abundantly Clear

December 2019

Glass, Clear Glue, Wood, Flashlight

Drawing major Todd Diamond could generously be described as “quirky.” He is an intricate tapestry of neuroses and paranoia encompassing everything from a stubborn refusal to eat in front of strangers, to a genuine belief that his phone is deliberately skipping all of the songs he wants to hear in a sentient act of malice.

For this project, by rendering newspaper obituary photos on glass using clear gel, Todd confronts his most recent concern: the inexorable march towards death, and the fear that when he’s gone, as opposed to leaving a lasting mark he’ll simply fade away into nothingness.

Perhaps, by working with lines that can’t clearly be seen, he is addressing a cynical suspicion that he’s invested years developing a skillset that in the end, is ultimately meaningless.

There’s also a strong possibility that his insecurities have finally gotten so out of hand that he’s now drawing in an “invisible” medium as a means of shielding himself from the disapproving gaze of his own, harshly critical eye.

All of these could have been considerations, if instead Todd wasn’t preoccupied with the fear of his glass surfaces shattering in his hands in a fatal wounding. It wouldn’t so much be the pain, but the notion of his body being discovered days later, face down in the dog hair covered filth of the apartment he’d been meaning to clean for the last 6 months. Can you imagine the indignity?

Todd really needs to get ahold of himself, man.

Process

The one clear idea I had from the outset of this project was that I wanted to create something of physical significance. As a probable luddite wary of the ways our lives have become increasingly digital, it was important to me that whatever I make, it require a direct, firsthand encounter to truly experience. I wanted to implore the viewer to please, for 5 seconds, put your phone away, stop crushing candy and start crushing life.

I figured the best way to encourage participation was to work in a medium that is practically invisible unless viewed under controlled circumstances. You couldn’t just see a picture of the thing and get a real sense of it, you’d have to be there in person (which makes documenting this project a bit of an exercise in futility). With that in mind, I settled on glass as a surface, and crystal clear gel glue as a drawing implement. I found that when undisturbed, the piece would appear to be nothing but an ordinary glass panel, but if tilted towards and away from a light source, the imagery would reveal itself in a seeming act of dark sorcery.

To make each piece, I would first draw a loose sketch on paper using newspaper obituary photos, morbidly, as a reference point. These base drawings were done using a wide tipped marker, to discourage a level of detail that wouldn’t be replicable using the thick, unwieldy glue that was my ultimate medium. Glass panels were placed over the drawing, and the underdrawings were traced on the glass using the glue bottle. Imagine trying to create delicate linework with what might as well have been a pastry piping bag full of invisible pancake batter. Madness ensued, but at least it forced me to relinquish some of my typical perfectionism. The glued panels were left to dry for 24 hours.

My intention was that an audience could manipulate the final pieces themselves by hand. It would give them a sense of ownership over the experience, and me an opportunity to high-five other artists for including the en vogue and oft-lauded element of “interactivity.” In a shocking late-game discovery, turns out: Glass is sharp as hell. If you play with it, it will cut the shit out of you. If only thousands of years of human experience and countless “caution” labels had existed to prepare me for this revelation. Out of benevolent concern for public safety, I decided to mount the work to the wall using individual shelves.

No problem. Competent artists are comfortable with tools and confident constructing objects from scratch by hand. I found one to show me how to do that. With adult supervision, I managed to build, paint and mount 20 display units.

As the pieces could no longer be manually handled, I needed to come up with a solution to the lighting issue. Originally, I went with the idea of hanging a series of lightbulbs about a foot from the installation. As the light passed through the glass and onto the receding wall, the distortion caused by the glue would cast a readable line drawing. In execution I realized it was difficult to get an even distribution of light across all 20 pieces using suspended bulbs. My next thought was to encourage people to move the light fixtures as they saw fit to best illuminate the images. That notion lasted all of 30 seconds, when I came to the conclusion that having hot lightbulbs dangling in an open space and then telling people to touch them was, again, not in the best interests of safety.

In the end, I found that while not as “classy” a simple flashlight pointed at the work made everything function as desired. I set one a few feet from the installation. On a pedestal (Boom, classiness problem solved!). As a bonus, with the handheld flashlight interactivity was restored, and with it, my self-congratulatory smugness.

All told, after installation the whole thing ended up being about 14ft wide, 6ft tall, and comprised of 21 glass portraits suspended by individual wooden mounts.

Subject Matter

I’m not a big fan of explaining the “meaning” behind a piece. I’m of the mind that the thing is about whatever the viewer sees in it, regardless of the artist’s intent. In an effort to give some insight into my process, I’ll at least touch upon the themes I was considering: Mortality. Human frailty. Insecurity. Struggling to make a lasting mark in a field I don’t feel is particularly valued, using a medium I don’t feel particularly skilled at, and while fighting a ticking clock. Typical existential crisis stuff that comes with age. A more accurate title for this project could have been “This is 40” if Judd Apatow hadn’t beaten me out the gate.

-Todd

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